Learning to stay centered and balanced in times of intense emotional upheaval is difficult and takes so much willpower and love that I almost believe it is a practice saved for Buddha and Jesus. Yet, it is the key to intimacy. It is vital to becoming a Goddess. Intimacy is about connecting to each others hearts and keeping both hearts open. If you do not learn how to control and express your emotions, without blame and attack, your man will shut down and you are left on your own. Yes, we wish men did not do this, but they are sensitive creatures underneath their man armor and they can’t take emotional attacks. They just don’t know how to. So learning to take responsibility for your own perceptions, feelings, and triggers and then learning to express yourself in a loving way, will keep your connection with your man alive. In fact he will be in awwww of you. You will be like a mystical creature to him and he will love watching you be in touch with your feelings, since he is of another land. Just remember – no blame, criticism or attack.

The more I read Kristina Marchant’s e-books the more I realize what it means to be a real woman and goddess. First of all it means loving yourself enough to not chase a man. It means never begging for more time, commitment or attention. It means every time you find yourself obsessing over him, you turn your attention back on yourself. It means not making him the center of your world and always making sure you can live without him. It means being in touch with your feelings so you can be open and vulnerable with him and connect with his heart. It means you create space between the both of you so he can have room to move toward you and bring you light. Then as Kristina’s Marchant says you take that light and you weave it into a beautiful relationship that inspires him to keep giving.  This is the way a man and a woman are suppose to be in relationship with each other. The problem is that us women have lost our way. We are hollow inside and think a man will fix our existential emptiness. It’s not true. The fix is spiritual in nature. The solution is for you to develop your connection with love/life and or whatever you call your higher power. You connect yourself to something that sustains you from the inside. Once you do this then you can have a real relationship with a man because you will not be depending on him to make you feel happy and secure. Until then you are just an energy vampire and he knows it. .

By Christian CarterDo you find yourself playing games or pretending not to care in order to keep a man attracted? Do you ever worry that you are going to scare a man away if you show him how you feel? You aren’t alone. Many women find themselves playing games or pretending not to care in order to keep a man attracted and interested.

Reposted from James Bauer’s blog – http://blog.beirresistible.comA survey was done as men walked out of marriage license bureaus.

When your  man is angry, tired, overwhelmed or withdrawn what do you do? Do you make it about you and your feelings and immediately tell him how horrible he is acting? Or are you able to see things from his perspective and give him space to feel and do what ever it is he needs? Do you give him space and remain content and in your happy place until he returns?  Relationships were not meant to always run smooth and easy. They involve two human beings that are constantly shifting moods and getting triggered by events and people. With this said, I think it is very important to welcome the bumps in the road and learn to navigate them with grace. The Art of Loving a Man involves learning to stand still when the waters are rough. It means being the steady shoreline and letting him be the waves. A real man needs a woman to hold the loving space while he flounders a bit in the chaos of his own mind. Of course this does not include inappropriate behavior. This just means allowing him emotional space without making it always about you and your needs. It requires a tremendous amount of control over your emotions. It requires the ability to not take things personal and have compassion then letting him find his way back to you if he is feeling distant or angry. A good man will always find his way back to you (emotionally), but he needs to see and feel that you are steady. This is what attracts him to you and keeps his attraction high. He knows you trust yourself and you trust him.  The question is not how to avoid the rough times in a relationship. The question is how do you react when things are not running smooth. The Art of Loving a Man means you do not overwhelm him with your negative emotions and voice to him how wrong he is. Instead you stay calm and allow him space to feel and be. Then he will return with more love then you can imagine. 

     Relationship Author, Pat Allen, says a man’s deepest psychic craving is to have his thoughts respected and a woman’s deepest psychic craving is to have her feelings cherished – The ying and the yang. These opposing energies according to her fuel passion, love and romance. If a woman takes the feminine role of respecting her man’s thoughts/ideas/actions, a man will take the masculine role and cherish her feelings and strive to make her happy. What does this look like? Well, I experienced it firsthand this weekend. In order to protect his privacy I am going to refer to my man as El Guapo. He is latin and hot and he is my wonderful man. El Guapo runs his own business and pretty much works 6 days a week. He travels a lot and has very little extra time. He works long hours and is always exhausted. Now enter his woman – ME!     I am very understanding, loving and compassionate, but as most women I crave and love lots of attention. He is usually always there to meet these needs except sometimes he has needs too. Strange ugh? A man has needs too?? I believe the turning point for me in building a beautiful relationship is when I realized this– a man has needs and they should be respected. Sometimes he needs down time to relax and re-charge. This can be difficult for me when he has been out of town for a week and I am dying for some love – all kinds. So he tells me this weekend he cannot go with me to an event I was attending Saturday night. He nicely said,

            Have you ever really stopped to think about how capable you are of feeling your feelings (the good ones and the bad ones)? I once read that in order to feel your good feelings you must also know how to feel you’re not so good feelings. So a better questions is – Do you know how to feel your bad/negative/dark feelings?

“For most men, a lasting commitment isn’t just a matter of choosing a woman and saying “Yes.” It takes a specific set of ongoing experiences to get a man to keep opening up and to learn to love and share more deeply as time goes on.”  By,  Christian Carter  w ww.catchhimandkeephim.com

A Feminine Goddess is……VulnerableCompassionate EmpatheticSensualPatientSoftAllows herself to receive

They say we enter into relationships to shine a light on our negative emotional patterns so we can transform these lower emotions, patterns and beliefs into Love. We come together so that we can more clearly see our issues. If we are brave enough we can then start to heal them through acceptance and getting in touch with our feelings. How often do you feel your buttons being pushed by your partner? Well, if you feel this often you are on the right path. This is exactly what the relationship is for – to show you where you need to heal. When your buttons are pushed do you attack the other or do you take responsibility for your feelings and reactions and calmly express what you are feeling? Attacking the other with blame and judgement is the easy way out and most of us react this way because it is what we learned from those around us and it is the norm. It is the brave ones, the women that are tired of drama and pain that set out to do something different. When you are seething in anger, disappointment or sadness, the last thing you want to do is relax and go within to see if an old wound is being poked at. The last thing you want to do is let your partner off the hook. Yet, if you want to grow and experience a life full of love, peace and joy you must begin this journey of awareness. You must begin to use your relationship as a way to see where you need healing.