By Christian Carter www.catchhimandkeephim.comYou know how it is…A man will seem really excited to be with you, he’ll ask you out, maybe even bring you flowers, call all the time, and then…

Matthew Boggs author of “Cracking the Man Code” writes about the biochemistry of men and women in love. The main idea is that women’s feel good chemical suppresses men’s feel good chemical in the brain. 

One of my favorite relationship coaches is Kristina Merchant. Check out some of her work below. It is a excerpt from her blog. She also has a new e-book entitled Prism Effect –

NATURAL COMMITMENTGiving a man emotional space to move toward commitment can feel like sitting in a hot pool of lava and wanting to scream, jump out, and do anything to quickly move out of the situation.  This is when as a woman you mistakenly have the talk of “Why aren’t you ready……” and you accuse him of being afraid of commitment and you get angry etc… A man hears this and feels all your desperation and shuts down his heart, panics and gets that ewww feeling about you, even if he loves you. He knows that when he is ready it will feel natural and it never feels natural to have a woman ask for more if he is not ready.  

In honor of my love for Christian Carter’s work I am posting more of his blog article entitled “4 Things A Man Wants in a Woman” see #1 below 🙂 

The below excerpt is from relationship God Christian Carter’s blog -www.catchhimandkeephim. He hits the nail on the head describing what a real man wants. He says a real man wants an emotionally mature woman.  Well that is great, but the most difficult area for any woman to grow in is in the world of emotions. So this can set up a bit of a dilemma. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to kick and scream and only accept things my way in my relationship, but it never gets me the results I want. In fact I end up with a man (my wonderful El Guapo) who is overwhelmed and resentful and withdraws. Expressing emotions should bring a couple closer, not create more distance. It takes a huge amount of emotional maturity to be in a relationship and us women pretty much trip, fall and eat sh** all the way through the growth process. Cheers to us women who give it a try. 🙂 

When you practice The Art Of Loving a Man you not only become the center of his world, but you also grow into and become the beautiful Goddess you were meant to be.  The Art of Loving a Man is all about keeping your man’s attraction for you strong by maintaining a wonderful vibe that screams “I am peaceful and happy” (with or without him).  That is the key to his heart. Then he sees you as a Goddess that he can adore, cherish and love above all other women. When your man knows that you are strong on the inside and soft on the outside, he can’t help being drawn to you. This is the case even in a long-term relationship. See text picture El Guapo sent me this morning above. It feels so nice to have his energy always flowing toward me 🙂 

PHOTO: “MM” by MICHAEL ROTHMANThe Real Work Is In Your Own MindOne of my favorite spiritual teachers, Marianne Williamson, often uses a quote in her lectures that is very powerful. It goes something like this, “When sh#$ hits the fan, stay on your own side of the fence.” So what exactly is so powerful about this quote? It is the idea that when you are upset about something it does no good to blame the other person. The real work is inside your own mind. This is a very useful skill to use in intimate relationships because getting lost in the idea that the other person is horrible and has to change is a useless battle. It only breeds resentment and disconnection. On top of that it kills a man’s attraction for you and makes him withdraw.

Letting go of control is probably about the most difficult thing a woman faces in her relationship with a man. Letting a man lead and respecting his relationship timeline and emotional tempo (the time it takes for him to become more intimate and vulnerable) can drive any woman into wild hysterics. Men want to feel that they are the ones moving the relationship forward and making decisions based on what they want and women can make the big mistake of not giving a man the space for him to lean in towards them. If a woman begins to push a man and control, he will only resist more. Even if he wants what she wants, if she pushes he will resist. I know it does not sound fair, but once you accept it is this way you can move beyond it. If you embody the characteristics of a Goddess you can gentle and lovingly  guide him toward a beautiful relationship. It requires tremendous emotional and mental courage and strength to do this. You must learn to lovingly accept certain situations as they exist for now, you must be patient and compassionate. Above all else you must have mercy on him when it feels like your needs are not being met. You cannot make him into the enemy. It will only create distance between you. You must allow him to be when he hits the limits of how much he can give or love. You must see the goodness in him and keep your heart open so he can learn to grow and become more. When the fire begins to burn in you and  you want to blame him, you must know that the relationship is doing exactly what it is meant to do – it is causing you to learn how to love deeper and let go of control. 

Keeping the pathway clear between you and your man is essential to intimacy and a healthy love life. The key is learning to communicate. Good communication leads to a man feeling closer to you. Bad communication leads to a man pulling away.