Here is the final thing a real man wants in a woman according to relationship guru, Christian Carter – A real man wants a woman he is intensely attracted to. This is in the beginning of the relationship and continues on through a long-term relationship and marriage. The thing about attraction is that it is really hard to  be attracted to a hurt, angry and resentful woman. This is where most relationships start to fail. The path looks like this – Men do something we do not like. We do not know how to express or process our feelings. We shove our feelings down and become withdrawn and resentful. Our hearts close and our vibe screams “Don’t touch me!” This is not very attractive. So in the beginning of a relationship just take it easy and go with the flow. In a long term relationship learn to deal with your unresolved past emotions so they don’t resurface in the relationship and make you close your heart. A man needs a woman’s open heart to connect to. Then he can stay your prince and not turn into a frog. See below. 

Here is #3  from the article “4 Things Every Man Wants in a Woman.” This one is the most difficult for sure. I use to struggle with the idea of emotional maturity. What does it really mean? Does it mean you learn to stuff your emotions down and never fly off the handle? Does it mean you become an ice queen and never be affected by anything your man does? Well, slowly I began to read various teachings by Spiritual teachers and Relationship coaches and I learned that emotional maturity means you do feel deeply, it’s just that you can manage the intensity of your emotions. You manage the intensity of your negative emotions so well that when you are triggered you do not take it out on the person in front of you. Emotional maturity means you have enough knowledge about yourself that you know when you are being triggered by what your man says or does. This deep knowledge allows you to be calm and process your feelings either alone or softly with him. This path is not easy, but if you master it, it will lead you to the land of sweet romance and lasting love.  If you learn to manage your emotions like this, your man will think you are an amazing Goddess. He will make an effort to be with you because he knows you are rare and different from the rest of the women around. I told a client today, “Do not try to ignore your feelings. A man loves an emotionally messy woman, as long as she does not take it out on him.” 

In honor of my continued love for Christian Carter’s work I am posting an excerpt below from his “4 Things Every Man Wants in a Woman.” Of all the Goddess practices this one is my favorite.  As soon as I began to see how much I depended on a man and a relationship for my good feelings I began to make changes.  Things I did included nurturing relationships with friends, family and engaging in activities, passions and hobbies that made me happy. The truth is a good man wants a woman who has a life outside of him that is meaningful and brings her happiness. This triggers something inside of him that drives him wild.  When he knows in his gut that you do not depend on him to feel good it generates an intense attraction and this in turn keeps him sending his love and energy your way. 

Sometimes I feel like I am living in a fairy tale. I am loved, adored and cherished by a very handsome, successful, masculine man (El Guapo). He treats me like a Queen and lives to make me happy. He stays emotionally connected to me and always wants to spend time with me and give energy to the relationship. He buys me gifts and makes me laugh. He is tender and kind and speaks loving words everyday. I so strongly want to encourage women to learn the “The Art of Loving a Man” so they too can have such a beautiful experience being in a relationship with a man. Sometimes I don’t know where to start trying to teach this long lost art. The secrets of a Goddess are many and very much alive.  I know the first place to begin is to share that it is a woman’s relationship to herself and her darker feelings that will ultimately offer her liberation from dysfunctional relationships. You see, the fastest way to push a man away is to have unresolved emotional issues that are constantly being put onto him and the relationship. It may seem like he is the cause of your horrible feelings, but I promise you these dark feelings existed inside you long before you met him. He just happens to trigger them now. So what is a woman to do when she wants a healthy loving relationship? She begins with learning the ebb and flow of the energies within her own heart. She begins to feel the deep pain of the past without blaming him. She learns not to take things personal and uses the triggers as opportunities to heal. She learns to tolerate her pain so it can slowly dissipate. Emotional pain from the past only needs your awareness and focus. Once you shed the light of awareness on your emotional pain it transmutes back to light energy. This is the difficult work of healing. This is the path to great love. This is when relationships get juicy. This is when a woman can offer love, warmth and openness because her heart is pure. It has been cleansed of the past. This is when a man gets hooked on your enchanting presence. It is all about the emotional environment you offer a man. This is what draws him in or pushes him away. If you are afraid that you have already pushed him away for good-  don’t worry, it’s never too late. Check out the article below by wonderful Relationship Coach, Rori Raye (www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com). Be patient with yourself and soon you will join the world of Enchantresses and Goddesses. These are the women that hold the keys to the hearts of great men.

Not to long ago I felt I had nothing wonderful to offer a man. I thought he was the prize and I always felt I had to win his love over and over again. In fact, I always felt a sense of desperation that I would lose a man’s attraction and love because there was nothing anchoring him to the relationship.  It is only when I began to focus on myself and learned to be intimate with the complexities of my darker emotions that I was able to gain a sense of control over my negative reactions. I also gained a deep understanding about myself and this control and understanding allowed me to relax more and open up. This is when I began to be more calm, openhearted and tender with my man. It was at this point I found Kristina Marchant’s work. She introduced me to the idea that a man longs for  a woman’s feminine mystique and entrance into the depths of her emotional world. A man wants to get lost in a woman and feel the world through her sensual ways and soft emotions. It finally hit me that us women have a beautiful gift to give men. This gift is the vulnerable, soft , sensual, emotional and tender ways of the feminine Enchantress. A man knows when he has encountered an Enchantress and he will bend over backward to be in her presence. I experience this everyday in my relationship and it is the most beautiful feeling in the world. El Guapo (my fiancee) adores, cherishes and provides for me and in turn I keep him connected to love, vulnerability and sensuality. Us women have a beautiful gift for men and they need and want us more then we know. See Kristina Marchant’s article below.

“The connection is the relationship” – I heard these words spoken the other day by a relationship coach and it struck a chord with me. A relationship is not about how many dates you have been on or what title you currently have. I mean those things definitely matter, but that is not what is going to make a relationship great. A good relationship is the quality of the emotional connection. It is the quality of trust and understanding between two people. It is the maturity and understanding that is exhibited when things get bumpy. It is the grace that is given when your partner makes a mistake or exhibits weakness. It is the space you give each other to have your own experiences without fear of judgement or criticism. These are the things that make connection with a another person beautiful.

Yesterday, I heard one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Marianne Williamson, say “Really loving someone means they feel free in a relationship with you.” Something about this resonated deeply with my ideas about “The Art of Loving a Man.” Could a man’s attraction, devotion and commitment to you be dependent on the level of freedom he feels in the relationship? When I say freedom I am referring to two things: 

 I wish I was an Enchantress living in the times of King Arthur and the Knights of Camelot. It feels like such a romantic period of time. I also feel that women knew who they were back then and used this knowing to love their men. If you read my blog you know that I often write about how important it is for a woman to know and touch the depths of her emotions and be able to stay centered no matter what a man does. This is the foundation of a modern day Enchantress. She lures her man to stay connected to her with her deep emotions and feminine mystery. See a great article below. 🙂 

Relationships are not easy. They are constantly pushing you up against your own limits. They force you to transform or fail. For a woman practicing feminine principles, a relationship with a man can drive her to the edge of the abyss and push her over into darkness. No one can tell her what lies at the bottom, but it is her courage and willingness to surrender that brings her a relationships greatest gifts. These gifts include the gift of being cherished and loved by a masculine man.  It is trust and faith in herself and then her man that catapults her man into his role as provider, protector and guardian of her heart.

I love! love! love! Christian Carter. His work changed my life. It was difficult at times to read his e-book and watch his programs because I saw myself as the desperate, clingy and needy woman he spoke about. This was devastating at the time.  Yet, it was what I needed to see in order to change. When I realized that I was that woman, I wanted nothing else in the world then to be someone else. I wanted to be a Goddess. A woman that a man adores and can’t get enough of. This was my work and it has been painful, but the rewards have been well worth it. One thing that I still encounter is this experience of a man withdrawing. Now “El Guapo” (my fiancee) only withdraws when he is stressed out from work or other life events, but it still always evokes a strong reaction inside me. The most important thing a woman can do when her man is withdrawing is to “Give Him Space” to be alone mentally, emotionally and maybe even physically. Unfortunately, this creates a lot of fear inside of a woman and it is at this time a woman over reacts. It is also at this time all the skeletons come out of the closet.  This is when your emotional strength shines or your emotional instability is revealed and trust me your man is watching and very aware. If you practice no other Goddess technique, let this be the one. See blog below for some more insight.