Quote By Katarina Phang:
”Communicating your needs before he’s where you’re at emotionally = pressure.  Rotation works better than “communication” cause your “communication” is nothing but trying to fix him and it never works.  High-value women understand this instinctively that trying to fix a man or a relationship never works to their advantage.  They only focus on their own happiness cause when they’re happy likelihood is the relationship will fix itself or someone better will come along.”

Hello!So I have spent the last few days immersing myself in relationship coach Katarina Phang’s programs and youtube videos. Katarina’s e-book “He’s Really That Into You, He’s Just Not Ready” came out in 2012 and she has been an active and influential relationship coach since then. I remember coming across her work in 2016 when I was beginning my healing journey and my blog. I also remember I did not feel a connection with her work so I continued to focus my attention on the works of Christian Carter, Rori Raye, Kristina Marchant, Mathew Boggs and Pat Allen. I learned so much in those years from these wonderful coaches and I was able to transform the relationship with my EUM (emotionally unavailable man) into a beautiful commitment and marriage in September of 2017 (see my pic above). Now that I am married and settled in I went on the hunt to learn more about this whole relationship coaching business and community. This is when I found Katarina again. Let me first say she is probably not for everyone. She is very direct and very spiritual which can be be off putting to some. At first I was resistant and did not take her seriously, but as I carefully listened to her YouTube videos I realized she was really on to something. Her programs and work are not necessarily different from the coach’s I mention above, although she has a different viewpoint on communication and sex. Her main teachings center around, the art of leaning back, feminine and masculine energy, the art of controlling your emotions and detaching from the ego mind. As we all know these are the holy grail concepts in the relationship coaching community. The thing that makes her different is her approach to healing and solving relationship issues. She has a very Eastern philosophical approach that centers around the understanding that relationships are the vehicles for personal transformation and healing (I ALWAYS FELT THIS TO BE TRUE). She also teaches that it is the deranged and chaotic egoic mind that causes all our problems. She teaches that a woman must heal her own mind before she can have a loving and committed relationship (THIS IS ALSO THE MAIN TEACHING IN MY COACHING YAY!). This healing takes place when a woman grows in awareness and distances herself from the crazed thinking patterns developed by unmet needs in childhood. Katarina preaches that a woman must develop her TRUE self (spiritual self) that is non-reactive, centered in awareness and exudes loving feminine energy in order to attract a good man and love. She also says that any EUM can transform from a frog into prince when a woman does her inner work and her behavior and energy changes. So with all this said – I LIKE HER!!!! She resonates with my work and coaching philosophies. She won me over because the inner work she describes is what I used in my life and what changed my relationship from awful to beautiful. Katarina is genuine and has a deep understanding of true relationship dynamics and deep inner healing. Maybe it’s her straightforwardness, her endless talk about engagements she helped to create, her eastern philosophical like solutions, or that she films her youtube videos sipping a glass of champagne (This was seriously the moment I decided she was for me lol!), either way she is the real deal and I like her. Just thought I would share this with you all. I will write more about her teachings in future blogs!

Hello wonderful blog readers! I am back! – married, happy, exhausted, anxious, fearful and hopeful. Awww…. the mix of human emotions that never seem to stop. I was married in September, had a lovely honeymoon and have been settling into my new marriage with my wonderful husband, El Guapo (nickname). Of course new issues have arisen and the work of a Goddess never ends. I look forward to sharing with everyone all my trials, tribulations and new coaching discoveries. One thing I am really excited about is to share a new relationship coach I discovered recently – more on this later this week. For now, I want to share Rori Raye’s thoughts on the dance of masculine & feminine energies that played out last night on the Oscar’s between Bradley Cooper & Lady Gaga. As I watched it, I also knew something magical was happening. I just didn’t have words to describe it. Thank you Rori. See her thoughts below and a youtube link of the performance.

 Hello,I can never get enough wisdom from Relationship Coach, Rori Raye. This article popped up in my inbox and I love it! These are the steps I followed when my man would not commit (after 3 years) and now I am 15 days away from my wedding. If you are in a similar situation please take time to read this article. Things can change if you change. 

Feminine PleasuresLove this quote by David Deida. Check out his books and audio lectures. Much Love, 

 Hello Wonderful Blog Readers,It’s been awhile since I have written a post because I am deep into wedding planning and life. The big day is September 30th and I am so  excited! I promise to post a pic. With that said it is very interesting what dynamics are coming up in my relationship these last few months. If I had to sum it up I would say the issues are about power/control and communication. Yikes! Those are big concepts. I am reminded again lately that relationships do not exist to make you happy (although they have that effect if done right), they are meant to make you grow. This means that the personal work/healing never ends. It just gets more manageable. Last night my fiancee, El Guapo, said to me with a bit of frustration in his voice, “Why can’t  you just tell me directly what you want?” “Why do you have to play games and make me work so hard to figure out what you want?”  I was dumbfounded and a bit embarrassed to tell you the truth. How had I taken so many steps backward with my communication skills? I took a deep breathe and knew in that moment I had a choice. I could go into defensive mode and rail against him all the things he does wrong or I could do a little introspection and voice my feelings. The Goddess in me knew what to do immediately.  So I said “I did not realize I was not communicating my needs I apologize.”  Then I proceeded to tell him what I preferred in this particular situation. I saw his face melt and all the tension between us disappeared. I really was wrong. I had brought up an issue expecting him to figure out what to do to make me happy. The problem is I did not tell him what I wanted. That’s a mindfuc* if I have ever seen one (sorry for the potty mouth)! So the night turned out dramatically different. I could have argued my points with him and kept him up for hours, but I chose the more loving path. Not just loving to him, but loving to my mind and soul. Now don’t get me wrong if I did not feel like I was wrong I would not apologize, instead I would just state my feelings and have those feelings cherished by him.  Yet, how many times as women do we get defensive, argue and attack when really we should humble down and look at what our men are telling us and self-reflect a little.  

After many failed relationships, I realized that there were some reoccurring experiences that I kept having with each man. It was always the same story of me experiencing abandonment and rejection. I began to wonder if this was a coincidence or if these feelings were already inside of me before I met a new man. I began to think maybe it did not matter who I was with, maybe I would find a way for these feelings to surface no matter who my boyfriend/husband was or what they did. I became sick and tired of this same old love and decided to dig deep and figure things out. As it turns out, I slowly and painfully learned it was not the men that did horrible things to me. It was the perception I held and attributed to their actions and words that kept me experiencing the same feelings over and over. It was as if these feelings wanted to get out and be free, yet blame and anger toward my man kept them stuck and looping creating the same drama. With new awareness, I began to use my relationship as an opportunity to see how I projected my pain onto my man.  It was not until I stopped focusing on the man and started to become aware of these feelings and actually feel them that things changed. This is when the magic began to happen. My relationship completely transformed and I became aware of my patterns. They still lived in me, but they did not control me anymore. See below article from Katie and Gay Hendricks that speaks to this exact phenomena  call “projecting.” 

If you have not tried Rori Raye’s “Modern Siren” program I would definitely think about purchasing it soon. It’s spot on when it comes to teaching a woman how to be a Goddess. Check it out on her website-  www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com.  She highlights the most important aspect of true intimacy – heart to heart connection. At the end of the day a man is drawn to your emotional energy. The way you make him feel is everything. You must open your heart and draw him in. This is important especially when things get rocky. Instead of turning against him, you open your heart and share what you feel in a non- threatening way. Remember the most difficult thing in Goddess training is to keep your heart open when you feel pain. Yet, this is the road to real and authentic connection. This is what will set you apart from other women he has dated. If you were wondering why I post Rori Raye’s work so often it is because I would not be in this wonderful relationship and place in my life (my wedding is only 4 months away) if it was not for her work and of course a few other great coaches. See her article below.

Hello Wonderful Blog Readers,Today I am posting an article about men withdrawing. This is my weak spot as it is for many of you. In all my studies on men and women in relationships the advice is always the same – when a man withdraws just relax and stay grounded and don’t freak out. You are suppose to give him space so he will return on his own. Now that does not mean you have to be treated poorly, but you do have to give  your man space. Why this is so darn difficult…. I don’t know. I understand it can be difficult in a rocky relationship, but my experience is that it is difficult even in the most secure of relationships. When your man needs a little space is a time when you really learn how much you have grown. You reaction means everything in these moments. I learned this lesson again this weekend. This weekend I learned that I am way too dependent on my man’s energy. This realization knocked me on my as*! Now it’s time to gather myself together and remember that my security and sense of fulfillment first comes from my relationship to myself and my higher power (Spirit, God, Universe etc.)  Knowing this is the most important thing a woman can do for her relationship. It is never about what he is/ or is not doing. It is always about how connected you are to yourself and your ability to feel okay without needing him to make you feel okay. Too often us women think it is our man’s job to make us feel loved and whole 100% of the time. That is the biggest trap we can get ourselves into. With this said, I am dusting myself off, congratulating myself for not creating too much drama, and centering myself again so I can be a wonderful partner and beautiful goddess. Growth is never-ending ladies and sometimes it feels yucky! Yet, a real Goddess never gives up. She goes within and becomes stronger. I found a good article to remind us of all of this on a website called www.elephantjournal.com. See below. 

I told a client today that being a feminine woman may look to others like you are a meek woman, saying yes to whatever your man wants or being okay with all his bad boy behavior, but in fact it is the opposite. Being a real feminine woman takes fierce strength. It take a tremendous amount of willpower and discipline to love with an open heart and learn to express your feelings in a non-threatening way. A feminine woman may seem weak, but she knows exactly what she wants and she knows inside what she will accept. The secret to being a Goddess is that you know the key to a man’s heart is showing him your vulnerability – That my dear friends is not for the weak! Any woman can close her heart and blame and attack her man day in and day out. It is easy to live behind a fortress and point a finger.  A feminine Goddess knows how to manage her emotional triggers and focus on her man’s goodness. She knows the importance of showing respect for a man’s masculine energies and she uses the power of her love to transform him into her knight in shining armor. This is the alchemy of feminine energy.  See the list below I made while thinking about how to coach my clients.