Yesterday, I heard one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Marianne Williamson, say “Really loving someone means they feel free in a relationship with you.” Something about this resonated deeply with my ideas about “The Art of Loving a Man.” Could a man’s attraction, devotion and commitment to you be dependent on the level of freedom he feels in the relationship? When I say freedom I am referring to two things: 

 I wish I was an Enchantress living in the times of King Arthur and the Knights of Camelot. It feels like such a romantic period of time. I also feel that women knew who they were back then and used this knowing to love their men. If you read my blog you know that I often write about how important it is for a woman to know and touch the depths of her emotions and be able to stay centered no matter what a man does. This is the foundation of a modern day Enchantress. She lures her man to stay connected to her with her deep emotions and feminine mystery. See a great article below. 🙂 

Relationships are not easy. They are constantly pushing you up against your own limits. They force you to transform or fail. For a woman practicing feminine principles, a relationship with a man can drive her to the edge of the abyss and push her over into darkness. No one can tell her what lies at the bottom, but it is her courage and willingness to surrender that brings her a relationships greatest gifts. These gifts include the gift of being cherished and loved by a masculine man.  It is trust and faith in herself and then her man that catapults her man into his role as provider, protector and guardian of her heart.

I love! love! love! Christian Carter. His work changed my life. It was difficult at times to read his e-book and watch his programs because I saw myself as the desperate, clingy and needy woman he spoke about. This was devastating at the time.  Yet, it was what I needed to see in order to change. When I realized that I was that woman, I wanted nothing else in the world then to be someone else. I wanted to be a Goddess. A woman that a man adores and can’t get enough of. This was my work and it has been painful, but the rewards have been well worth it. One thing that I still encounter is this experience of a man withdrawing. Now “El Guapo” (my fiancee) only withdraws when he is stressed out from work or other life events, but it still always evokes a strong reaction inside me. The most important thing a woman can do when her man is withdrawing is to “Give Him Space” to be alone mentally, emotionally and maybe even physically. Unfortunately, this creates a lot of fear inside of a woman and it is at this time a woman over reacts. It is also at this time all the skeletons come out of the closet.  This is when your emotional strength shines or your emotional instability is revealed and trust me your man is watching and very aware. If you practice no other Goddess technique, let this be the one. See blog below for some more insight.

“You can make a man feel attraction, devotion and lifelong desire to make you happy in the simplest ways – by being so comfortable in your own skin, and at such a deep level, that he finds  you endlessly mysterious and yet totally emotionally SAFE to be with.

After listening to Pat Allen’s radio show the other day I once again realized how important opposite energies are when it comes to emotional and physical attraction.  It is the Ying and the Yang that allows for flow, ease and romance to exist in intimate relationships. Yet, for women these days surrendering control to the Masculine can feel like death. It requires a deep trust in oneself and a letting go that is profound. Each day in my relationship I am challenged with this type of surrender and each time I choose to stay in my feminine energy I am rewarded.  Each time I stay in my feminine energy, “El Guapo” (my fiancee), steps into his masculine and the energy dance between us is AMAZING. It’s like lighting bolts and fireworks. He gives, protects and cherishes my feelings and I surrender control, remain vulnerable, sensual and emotionally soft. These opposite energies coming together in a man and woman create magic. For more understanding, see this great article I found below from this website – www.gurussay.com.  It’s enlightening. 

From our Sponsor, Christian Carter, Author of best-selling eBook Catch Him & Keep Him While every man is different, there are certain things about a woman that will make any man stand up, take notice, and make him decide he wants to get to know you on a deeper level.

Practicing Kristina Marchant’s “5 ways to make a man fall in love with you” created miracles in my love life. It’s all about self-esteem and learning to relate to a man softly, yet with boundaries. It’s about allowing a man space to chase and romance you and always putting yourself first in your own mind. A man is attracted to a woman who does not fall apart when he does not do what she wants. He loves the mystery and inner strength of a woman who can speak softly when she is hurt and ask sweetly for those things she would like in a relationship.  The minute a man feels like a woman is demanding of his time, love, energy or sex he will feel controlled and he will rebel. Therefore, a woman must not look to a man to feel better about herself or she will engage in all kinds of crazy antics that will manifest as controlling behavior. This will kill a man’s desire to please a woman and the downhill spiral from here can be emotionally deadly. See Kristina Marchant’s blog below to begin changing how you relate to a man. Remember to take baby steps and be gentle with yourself. You will make many mistakes trying to change, but eventually you will see the changes in how men (or your man) treat you and you will be thrilled. I say this as I stare at a dozen roses sent to me by my El Guapo (My fiancee) for Valentine’s Day. He is the most wonderful man in the world and his sweetness and romantic gestures are a direct reflection of the value and love I have for myself.

I cannot get enough of Christian Carter’s work (www.catchhimandkeephim.com). I promise you if you watch some of his video programs you will be saved 😉 His explanation of what triggers a man’s love and commitment is sometimes hard to hear, but worth every minute. At the end of the day his message is simple – Men do not want to be depended on to fix a woman’s emotional problems. They want a woman who has control over her emotional world and a woman who challenges him to become a better man. You know what that means ladies?? It means we have to get our sh*& together if we want a real intimate relationship with a real man. See blog post below by Christian Carter. 

“If you pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation.” Eckhart Tolle

There is nothing that drives a man away and makes him lose attraction faster than a needy woman. For a man, being involved with a needy woman feels like he is suffocating and can’t reach for air. The minute he finds a way to get away he will. So what does that mean for us women who can’t seem to shake our needy vibe? It means we have to do some soul searching to find out how deep our bottomless pit really is. A Goddess knows that the only way out of neediness, is to feel your feelings. It is essential that you get out of your mind and the story you create about your man and the relationship and dive into the physical sensations of the actual pain. Every time you feel desperation, instead of reaching for him, sit with yourself and bring your awareness to the place inside you that hurts. Breathe into it and relax and release. It’s that easy, yet very painful. In order to become a Goddess you must learn to be comfortable feeling your pain. It’s just old energy and it is seeking release. If every time you feel needy you do this, a little piece of pain will leave your body and soul and your neediness will begin to dissipate. You will start to transmute the negative energy into light through the power of your awareness. I know it sounds spiritual and since we are talking about healing in many ways it is. Relationships are assignments to get you in touch with old pain. Use them for that reason and do not jump on the wheel of engaging in the same old behaviors and getting the same old results. Men will never fill your void and they know in an instant when a woman expects them to. They feel it in their soul. Therefore, you can fale it all you want and act like you are not needy and clingy, but eventually he will know the truth. He will know that your real goal is to swallow his soul in the hopes it soothes your pain. This is what men fear the most and this is why they don’t commit, they leave or withdraw. See wonderful relationship coach, Kristina Marchant’s article below. Her website – connectwithhisheart.com.