After listening to Pat Allen’s radio show the other day I once again realized how important opposite energies are when it comes to emotional and physical attraction.  It is the Ying and the Yang that allows for flow, ease and romance to exist in intimate relationships. Yet, for women these days surrendering control to the Masculine can feel like death. It requires a deep trust in oneself and a letting go that is profound. Each day in my relationship I am challenged with this type of surrender and each time I choose to stay in my feminine energy I am rewarded.  Each time I stay in my feminine energy, “El Guapo” (my fiancee), steps into his masculine and the energy dance between us is AMAZING. It’s like lighting bolts and fireworks. He gives, protects and cherishes my feelings and I surrender control, remain vulnerable, sensual and emotionally soft. These opposite energies coming together in a man and woman create magic. For more understanding, see this great article I found below from this website – www.gurussay.com.  It’s enlightening. 

I heard a business mentor say today – “does your relationship coach offer you a painkiller or vitamins?” I thought that was a brilliant analogy to describe the two roads available to a woman when she decides to address the problems in her love life. A painkiller is when you decide to change the man in your life, one after the other because things keep going wrong. A painkiller is when you change the type of man you are dating or come up with some strict boundaries in your dating life. On the other hand, a vitamin is when you figure out what your unresolved emotional issues are and learn to cultivate awareness around them. A vitamin is also when you muster up the strength to feel your past pain in the present moment. Really feel it! Like feel it until it feels like you might explode or die. This is like swallowing a whole handful of vitamins. As I coach women I always offer vitamins not painkillers. Everything else seems like a distraction and long road to nowhere.

This idea above pretty much explains why women feel like they have bad luck in love. There are so many of us that get into a new relationship with big dreams and open hearts only to find ourselves months later feeling the same pain and engaging in the same arguments as our past relationships. We think we have bad luck or picked the wrong man and yes on a few rare occasions a bit of this can be true. Yet, the real truth is that the Universe, God, Life (whatever you call your higher power) is calling us forward. Calling us forward and asking us to drop our story and push our mind and hearts past the boundaries and brick walls into a more open and surrendered place. It can become a golden moment for a woman to see she is repeating a pattern.

Hello Goddess Friends!So I promised I would give an update on my situation with El Guapo being away for work (almost 2 years). Great news! I think I killed the abandonment trigger for good. Seriously I don’t feel any fire around the issue anymore. It’s strange sometimes I actually try to feel it cause I am so amazed it is gone. I mean maybe it is his sweet and attentive behavior while he is away or the grand effort he puts into making plans for us to see eachother each month. Whatever it is I am wasting no energy feeling bad and the universe is not testing me anymore. At least for now…… I feel very loved and attended to. 🙂

            Have you ever really stopped to think about how capable you are of feeling your feelings (the good ones and the bad ones)? I once read that in order to feel your good feelings you must also know how to feel you’re not so good feelings. So a better questions is – Do you know how to feel your bad/negative/dark feelings?

On this blog, I often talk about the concept of leaning back (aka standing still) in a relationship. It is a concept that was developed by Relationship Coach, Rori Raye. It does not matter if you are just dating or married. It is a vital concept in “The Art of Loving a Man” because it is all about staying in your feminine energy and “Being” instead of “Doing.” Women have been taught to be masculine and fix problems and manage and control things in relationships. We have lost the art of allowing. To just allow things to be, is so foreign it feels unnatural to us. Yet, as a woman it is the most natural thing we can do. It is a mans job to cherish your feelings, help fix relationship problems, and direct his energy toward you.  So why would you want to stay in your feminine energy? So your man will move into his masculine energy. Once he does this, you and your man can experience balance, polarity attraction and romance. The key to leaning back is that you also stay warm and inviting at the same time. It is an art you learn. Whenever you and your man are experiencing a little friction or he seems to be withdrawing or you are dating a new man, there will come a time you will need to lean back and stand still (being instead of doing). Doing this will create space between you and your man and he will be able to direct his energy toward you when he is ready.

According to Relationship expert, Dr. Pat Allen, the success of a romantic relationship rests on two principles when you utilize the magic of feminine and masculine energy:

1. A man’s greatest psychic craving is that his thoughts be respected.

“When you are just as comfortable in discomfort as you are in comfort, you are FREE” I read this the other day and it reminded me of the core foundation to a good relationship with a man – When you are okay and feel good with whatever he does. Maybe he does something magical and romantic that lights up your heart and you feel peace or maybe he is inconsiderate or thoughtless and you still feel peace. This is the key! Of course you can be upset and should voice your feelings to him (trick is to do it with no blame, or criticism) but peace should be the undercurrent beneath your emotion of anger or sadness. I know this sounds complicated and strange yet, this is what allows a woman to stay centered in her goddess energy when her man is not meeting her expectations. Staying centered (aka standing still)  with an open heart is what triggers his passion and attraction for you.  A man absolutely goes crazy over a woman who has control over her emotions. It is not easy work. It all begins with your inner world and once you have your inner world under your control you will sparkle and shine and will mesmerize any man.

Hello Beautiful Goddess,  It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a blog. I have felt a bit uninspired lately. I feel like I keep talking about the same relationship topics and their getting old. I wanted to bring you something different, something new, some magical formula that will help fix everything and transform all your bad relationships and negative patterns. So I sat with myself a few weeks to see what came to me.

My bible this month is still David Deida’s book, “It’s a Guy Thing.” His in depth understanding of intimacy and the psychology of love is sooo good. Whenever I read his stuff every other coach seems so amature. I try to be very particular about what I post and when I read this page I knew I had to share it. As women how many times have we felt unloved by the man in our life? In some cases it is real, but in most cases it is not. Check out David’s perspective on feeling loved below. 🙂

So El Guapo got called away for work for the year. He will be back 1x per month or I will fly to see him 1x per month. This happened last year also and we made it through by seeing each other 2x a month. The new plan to see each other only 1x per month makes me feel like my organs are going to fall out of my body. He has been gone 3 weeks and it feels like I have a raging fire in my heart. Sorry for the dramatic description of my feelings.