Relationship a pal you’ve recognized for years can go one among two methods. Finest case situation, you find yourself like Monica & Chandler and reside fortunately ever after. Worst case situation, it doesn’t work out, you wrestle to get your friendship again, and also you’re left questioning why you ever thought it was a good suggestion up to now.

However wait, there’s one extra risk. You understand you’ve obtained emotions on your pal, however you’re too scared to say something or threat your friendship, and also you spend the remainder of your life questioning, “what if….” Belief me, you don’t need to be there, dwelling a lifetime of woulda coulda shoulda. So I’m all for courting a pal, however there are some issues to contemplate earlier than taking that step.

Do you know that research present we discover individuals extra enticing as soon as we get to know them? So falling for a pal is pure. Psychology professor Jessica Cameron has accomplished loads of analysis on associates who turn into a pair and suspects that {couples} who begin as associates are inclined to have happier, stronger relationships. Why? As a result of romantic relationships are extra fulfilling when there’s a friendship. She’s in the course of researching whether or not that is true. Plus, in a 2021 survey, two-thirds of respondents stated their present accomplice began as a pal.

So, if you’re serious about courting a pal, you’ve obtained analysis in your nook.

7 Issues to consider earlier than courting a pal

1. Do not forget that good associates don’t essentially make good romantic companions

Simply since you’re finest associates with a man and everybody tells you ways cute of a pair you’d make doesn’t robotically imply you’ll have a easy transition to a romantic relationship. Pleasant relationships and romantic relationships are completely different and require various things from individuals. In a romantic relationship, you’ve obtained to speak successfully, make choices collectively, compromise, navigate bodily intimacy, perceive one another’s love languages, and be dedicated. It’s possible you’ll discover you’re not suitable in these methods.

2. Are you seeing him clearly?

After we’re interested in somebody and have a crush on them, it’s frequent to view that individual by way of rose-tinted glasses. You may solely see optimistic issues and be blindsided by his flaws and the polar variations between you.

Positive, you may love the identical TV exhibits and be equally hooked on pizza, however possibly you have got completely different values and way of life selections. And since you’re crushing, you give attention to the previous whereas ignoring the latter. However you’ve obtained to be trustworthy with your self when you’re contemplating courting a pal. Do you assume you’re suitable in a romantic manner? Are you able to see your self constructing a life collectively?

3. Test in and see when you’re on the identical web page

Earlier than courting a pal, get actual about how doubtless it’s that he feels the identical manner. Have you ever seen any indicators that he wish to be greater than associates? For instance, does he flirt with you, praise you, or keep away from speaking about women he’s seeing with you? Additionally, take note of his physique language. Robust eye contact, mirroring your physique, leaning in through the dialog, and discovering excuses to interrupt the bodily contact barrier are all indications he may such as you greater than a pal.

You’ll in all probability know if he has caught emotions as a result of human beings should not nice at hiding how we really feel!

4. Handle your expectations

The beauty of courting a pal is you’ll be able to keep away from the game-playing and potential awkwardness of assembly a complete stranger and having to construct a connection from nothing. You’ve obtained a stable basis to construct on, and also you in all probability know loads about one another already. You are feeling protected with him and may have deeper conversations that you simply in all probability wouldn’t have with a stranger.

However whereas courting somebody you already know may help you skip previous the standard courting section and echo the nice and cozy, fuzzy emotions of a brand new relationship, there are certain to be different questions in your thoughts. For instance, will the connection work? And if it doesn’t, will our friendship survive?

5. Are you each able to be in a relationship?

You’d be shocked how many individuals overlook this, but it surely’s important to contemplate it earlier than courting a pal.

To start with, are you each single? As a result of if different individuals are concerned, you’ve obtained to contemplate their emotions – don’t be a homewrecker! Second, did one among you simply come out of a relationship or a nasty breakup? It takes some time to heal and be in a spot the place you’re able to date once more, even when you had been the one who initiated the breakup. He may solely be concerned with one thing informal proper now. Are you each going to be in the identical place for the foreseeable future, or does one among you have got plans to maneuver states or nations for work?

These are all essential issues to contemplate as a result of they have an effect on whether or not you’re able to be in a relationship. If one or each of you isn’t, then there’s no level even serious about courting.

6. How will you navigate the transition from associates to courting?

Earlier than courting a pal, you’ve obtained to contemplate the way you’ll transition from associates to romantic companions. For instance, how do you each really feel about PDA (public shows of affection)? Will you turn into unique instantly or give yourselves time to regulate earlier than placing a label on it? Will you spend extra time collectively than you already do, or much less?

Though the muse of friendship is a good place to begin, shifting to companions may be awkward when you understand one another so effectively and already hang around repeatedly. Take a while to debate the above, and it could actually squash a number of the issue.

7. What is going to occur when you begin courting your pal and it doesn’t work out?

No person begins a brand new relationship pondering it’s not going to work out. Heck, if all of us did that, no person would ever begin one! Nevertheless it’s essential to contemplate, significantly while you’re already associates. Some ladies are nice at being associates with their exes, however typically, I don’t advocate it as a result of this hinders you from absolutely shifting on after a breakup. So in case your relationship does finish, it may be the tip of your friendship, a minimum of when you grieve and attempt to heal. That doesn’t imply issues can’t or gained’t return to how they had been, however you will need to contemplate.

For those who do discover you break up and wrestle to get again to associates, hanging out along with mutual associates could make it simpler by creating a way of normality.

4 The explanation why courting a pal is a good concept

1. Friendship is among the three elements of the lasting love formulation

In our Love Accelerator program, we educate the lasting love formulation:

Attraction + Compatibility + Friendship = Lasting Love

As you’ll be able to see, friendship is among the three key elements for a connection and love that lasts. That’s why beginning as associates first is a good basis to construct on, particularly when you’ve caught emotions.

If you wish to study extra concerning the lasting love formulation, together with a ton of different methods and classes that will help you get on the market and appeal to the person and relationship you want, you’ll be able to apply to affix our program at the moment.

2. You already get pleasure from one another’s firm

Among the finest components of courting a pal is that you simply already spend time collectively since you get pleasure from one another’s firm. There’s no superficial purpose or ulterior motives comparable to seems to be, cash, or standing.

A 2015 research discovered that {couples} who had been associates earlier than they began courting differed extra in ranges of bodily attractiveness than {couples} who began as strangers. Researchers prompt that those that had a friendship had been extra interested in their accomplice’s persona relatively than seems to be or that they grew to become extra bodily attracted over time due to their persona.

This can be a excellent spot to be as a result of it doesn’t matter how handsome somebody is; bodily attraction at all times fades over time, so that you’d higher just like the individual sitting reverse you on the dinner desk; in any other case, issues will go south shortly!

3. You understand him effectively

Another excuse I’m all for courting a pal is that you simply already know an excellent deal about one another’s likes, dislikes, values, quirks, and flaws. There’s already a degree of belief, consolation, and familiarity, and this may make that preliminary courting section much more pleasurable than it’s with a stranger.

You’re not making an attempt to determine if there’s a serious incompatibility, if he needs marriage and children as a lot as you do, or if he’s making an attempt to sleep with you. You additionally don’t should look beneath the roses and champagne to see what this man is like when he’s not making an attempt to impress you – you already know. This implies you’ll be able to discuss extra overtly and actually than when you had simply met, and it’ll put you each in a extra relaxed vibe the place you’ll be able to give attention to having enjoyable.

4. There’s a basis of care & heat to construct on

The ultimate purpose courting a pal is a good concept is since you already care loads about one another; in any other case, you wouldn’t be associates. There gained’t be any game-playing, ghosting, or pulling away when issues get severe since you love and respect one another and your friendship manner an excessive amount of to do this.

Naturally, you should have considerations working by way of your thoughts like, will it work, and if it doesn’t, will our friendship survive? However since you’re associates, you’ll be able to focus on all of those scary questions collectively with out it feeling heavy or awkward.

Conclusion

Relationship a pal comes with its dangers, similar to any relationship does. However when you’ve caught emotions, and also you assume you’d make an excellent couple, then you definately owe it to one another to provide it a attempt. Nobody needs to reside a life questioning, what if… Plus, if you’re pretty much as good associates as you assume you’re, belief that if issues don’t work out romantically, you’ll finally be capable to salvage a friendship.

Have you ever ever dated a pal previously? Is there a pal in your life who you’d contemplate courting? What are your greatest considerations about transitioning from associates to extra? I’d love to listen to your experiences on this topic, so drop me a remark beneath!